I think it was somewhere during the first five minutes of the interview that I remembered why I chose to write for a living. Little did I know that in doing the ordinary - conducting an interview at the Hyatt Regency Hotel in Rosebank - the seemingly extraordinary would emerge.

It had nothing to do with the sensational clothes, appearances and looks of a top celebrity; but listening to who he had become. Who he was, the sincere words and engrafted truth from Tumisho Masha was  truly inspirational. In writing his story, I was moved; transformed by the reminder of unadulterated true love, pressing on and the grace of second chances.

“Strange how I did not always know, what I know now about love, life and relationships. I guess some knowledge comes with experience and maturity. I now know that true love exists. It all starts with some form of primary love. Others find it in a deity, a higher power or something. I found that in God. Love, true love, has to do with esteeming another more than yourself,” says Tumisho, the well-groomed celebrity better known for his ace appearances on the prestigious show Top Billing, The Wild and Isidingo among many others.

According to Tumisho, there are many false depictions of lust (disguised as true love) that are depicted by popular culture. Furthermore, the myth that true love only resides in romantic love (eros), needs to be dispelled. It is misconceptions such as these and the misrepresentation of love that are leading multitudes to end up hurt and diseased while in their pursuit of love.

“Popular culture often depicts false notions of love. Unfortunately many have fallen prey to this deception and ended up in very unfortunate conditions. It is not love until your primary motivation is for the good of the other person. True love asks, what can I do for you? That goes against the grain,” elaborates Tumisho.

During the interview, several people flutter towards him. He stands up, in their acknowledgement, releases his trademark smile and greets them. In most cases, he greets them by hand and offers them a small conversation - more than they were expecting from a busy man. It is well received. Much appreciated. Significant. I can’t but recall how I asked for a 30 minute interview and received so much more time. I too am most grateful and appreciative.

Butternut soup interjects the interview and he dines on something else. I don’t ever recall having so many waitresses attending to a single table during a business lunch or even in my own private capacity. It’s okay. He respectfully addresses each one and we continue having “normal” lunch amidst stares, smiles and greetings. The trademark smile emerges to acknowledge fans while calling for order in a very down-to-earth manner.

Lunch over. Our chat continues…

We are a website that celebrates love. It is different things to different people. Often people have some form of philosophy around it. Do you have a philosophy of some sort?
[He laughs]. As I have said before, it would be a big error to limit true love to only romantic relationships. However, I will give you my philosophy in this context. I think at first romantic love (eros) develops based on some form of sensory arousal (what you see, touch, smell…etc). From there, it moves towards a platonic level and friendship. This is where you can be silly together and just be. That’s also where marriage often slips in. From there, Agape (unconditional love of God) is to be striven for. Where you love someone in spite of feelings.

How do you know that this is love?
Regardless of what a dysfunctional society can dictate - it is not love until your motivation is for the other person’s good. It is not about being with someone because they will make you look good, add to your bank balance or what they can do for you. Love protects.

Speaking of “protection”, we live in a nation where people are affected or infected by diseases.  Unfortunately, some may end up with sexually transmitted ills from the pursuit of “love”. What is your take on this?
Sex is best in the context of marriage. We often sugar-coat this and camouflage it, to the detriment of society. I did not always know this and discovered after I was married now, but I think it is something that should be said by a young married guy. Sex too soon is not always an advantage. It can only reach its ultimate purpose in marriage.

What made you come to that realization?
I realized the importance of finding a love that was not myself. Primary love for me is God. Secondary love became the love of self - finding out what I want out of life. Tertiary love can only come once you are filled with love and are now in a position to give it away.

We often receive e-mails from singles (including those separated, divorced and widowed) after interviews - often longing that they could have been incorporated or thought of in some way. Do you have any advice, words of comfort or something for these precious readers?
Relationships require work. One must just do your best to make it work. If it gets to an unhealthy stage then you should reconsider. Once you have reconsidered and it does not add up - that’s a different topic altogether. Be encouraged. There is someone for everyone. I was fortunate enough to get a second chance.

Speaking of second chances, it is refreshing how you handle your private and public life so diplomatically. Rather than play public gimmicks, your pulled yourself together during the time when things were not at peak (hint-hint). What motivates that?
Thanks for saying that. Yes, my first marriage did not work out and I am now happily married in my second one. Media is a tool that can be used for good or bad. Words cannot be withdrawn. I chose to not say things that I would later regret once the dust settled. Praying for wisdom to react appropriately also helps.

That’s quite noble! Let’s stick to the present. You constantly refer to your marriage/family with fondness…
In the end, family comes first. Even if the camera stops rolling, the interview ends and the fame subsides - family comes first. Hence I would rather disappoint my fans and lose some support to put my family first.

Noted. Anything else you would like mentioned in the article?
Parents in a relationship should try make it work. If ever boredom, greed and carelessness kicks in - it is important to choose your love again.

 
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